*Doctorate of tomfoolery
“Gather around everybody, gather around! Don’t push, don’t press; there is plenty to go around. Today I am sharing with you a true miracle. A magical potion sure to transform your very existence. ‘What is it?’ you ask. I’ll tell you, but let me beg just a moment of patience to first share with you just some of what you can expect from this wonderful elixir.”
“Drink Dr. Tom’s Miracle Elixir every day and propel yourself to greater health and well-being. Fortify the body, clear brain fog, and brighten your attitude. Start your day with a glass, and drink more to regain strength, endurance, and mental acuity as you battle through life’s daily challenges. One more glass to rejuvenate yourself after long periods of physical stress. And ladies, did I mention it creates real power in the bedroom? Yes, just hand your man a glass of this delicious concoction and stand back…way back, ladies!
“How good is it? So healthy you can literally replace everything else you drink—everything! And yet so unbelievably delicious you’ll truly want to. No more sodas, no more energy drinks, no more confectionary abominations. And you can create this deeply satisfying drink in the comfort of your own home.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the moment is upon us to share with you Dr. Tom’s Miracle Elixir. To do so, let me introduce Miss Christine to describe this potent potion, this lustrous libation, this nourishing nectar. Take it away, Miss Christine.“
“Thank you, Dr. Tom. Folks, our beverage of choice is all that Dr. Tom has promised and more – except for maybe that bedroom thing—delusions of grandeur, I assure you. Let us get to it. To create the picture below, simply mix the following ingredients:
- An eight-ounce glass of filtered water
- Option: Add some effervescence; use a Soda Stream or equivalent to make it fizzy
- Add a quarter of a lemon; squeeze before dropping in
- Add a quarter of a lime; again, squeeze before dropping in
- Add a slice of cucumber
- Add a sprig of fresh mint
- Put in refrigerator to chill thoroughly
Mix this up with a bit of love and care, and you will be amazed at how delicious this healthy alternative is to so many bad beverage options!“
“Thank you, Miss Christine. Now step aside, young lady, I’ll take it from here. Everyone quiet down now—your excitement is indeed palpable. But I am sure many of you are wondering about the cost of this potent potion. Yes, you can make this at home for approximately .50 cents per glass. But if you act impetuously, you can buy Dr. Tom’s Magic Elixir at an outrageously inflated price—the choice is yours! As you ponder your options, I’ll ask Miss Christine to remind you of some of the benefits.”
“Thank you, Doctor. At a minimum, your Magic Elixir provides the following:
- Hydration that energizes the body, mind, and attitude
- Vitamin C, an antioxidant that supports immune function, helps the body absorb iron from plant-based foods, and promotes healthy skin
- Improved digestion due to stimulated digestive enzymes
- Enhanced weight management, especially when consumed instead of unhealthy alternatives mentioned by the good Doctor
- A delicious thirst quencher
All this and more, with almost zero calories!”
Living better in the later years requires behaving differently in the earlier years. Treat yourself and others to a cold, delicious, healthy, and refreshing glass of Dr. Tom’s Magical Elixir. Do this routinely and reap all the rewards.
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