Some people have a victim mentality, but if everyone else is to blame for your issues—people you have no control over and little influence—then the deck is stacked 13 billion or so to one against you.
Persons with a victim mentality are vulnerable, and they often foster a win-lose outlook and constantly fear losing every day’s contests. They view life as one long struggle to survive. Not surprisingly, they are emotionally fragile.
A “victim mentality” often sounds like the following:
- Blaming others and external circumstances: “Why did that happen to me?”
- Reluctance to take responsibility: “Not me!” or “Why can’t someone else do that?
- Feeling powerless: “I can’t do that”
- Dismissive of input and ideas: “That won’t work”
- Vulnerable to feedback: “Why would they say that?”
- Overly sensitive to others: “He/she made me feel bad.”
Conversely, other people have an accountable mindset. They take full responsibility for their lives and their ups and downs. They acknowledge complete control of their thoughts, behaviors, decisions, and even their feelings. They rely on the one person they have control over—themselves.
The accountable person often sounds like the following:
- Taking ownership: “That’s my responsibility.”
- Setting life direction with vision, goals, and plans: “Here is my plan.”
- Taking pride in one’s effort: “And here’s my work.”
- Open to meaningful feedback: “I’d appreciate any constructive criticism.”
- Suspect of meaningless feedback: “That input adds nothing.”
- Taking responsibility for mistakes and failures: “My mistake, sorry.”
- Making course corrections: “Here’s how I will handle that next time.”
Persons with an empowered mindset are less vulnerable, and they have a stronger foundation for personal growth and development. They accept the possibility and promise of “win-win” scenarios and grant themselves and all others a chance to thrive. Over time, their emotional resilience is destined to strengthen.
Living life with a victim mentality is a horrible existence. But here is the good news: You are not condemned to play the victim; changing behaviors can change your mindset. You can become a stronger, more accountable person.
How? Start with two helpful ideas:
- Stop and take note anytime something akin to the first set of phrases above passes through your mind or crosses your lips. Take a moment to counsel yourself.
- Stop and take note anytime phrases like those in the second set pass through your mind or cross your lips. Take a moment to reinforce this occurrence positively.
By doing these two steps, you can evolve your mindset and, with it, change the trajectory of your life.
Practice more empowering one-liners and grow your emotional resilience by becoming a more accountable human being.
Ready to learn more about building emotional resilience? Subscribe to the LBLY newsletter below!
Header Image Credit: galinkazhi